Thursday, September 24, 2009

operation: organize closet: the before

Yesterday I discussed the issue of my idea of clean versus my husbands idea of clean...while those definitions may differ I have to organize my closet. My husband is kind enough to not turn on the light in the morning when he gets up at 5 am, so in return I need to get my closet organized so it can actually fit all of my belongings and not spill out on to the floor and cause him to trip in the dark in the wee hours of the morning.

Today I went to the Navy Exchange, gotta love the savings and no tax....I picked up 4 items for $38 dollars...this should really make a difference

  1. another hanging shoe organizer
  2. a box of space vacuum bags

  3. an under the bed storage container (to hold the items i have sucked up in the vacuum bag)

  4. a double hanging closet rod

I can't wait...I loooooooooooooove to organize things...

Here are the before pictures...tomorrow I should have the organizing finished and be able to post the afters...

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

needles make me wanna pass out...

today I went to the doctor to have a plethora of things checked out...I left with new birth control, a referral to see a dermatologist for an irregular mole, and i also left missing something.

I have had this little bump on my left leg for a few years, and recently it became very sensitive and if i accidentally hit it while shaving my leg it would hurt like a mother father because the bump would be sliced off and bleed and then grow back. Initially, I thought it was a wart, but after trying those medicated band aids and not seeing a slight change after about 6 weeks I decided it was time to see the Doctor.

The doctor gave me a few options and the best option for it to be off my leg was to have it cut out and sent for a biopsy to make sure it isn't skin cancer. Had I known this little bump would be removed the same day as the visit i would have had my husband accompany me.

So a corpsman (basically an enlisted guy who helps out in various aspects of the hospital) came in and started to set up shop. (Thank god this guy was good and knew his ish) If you know me, you KNOW i HATE needles, and I am always sure to make this clear so no doctor/nurse/corpsman freaks out if i start freaking out. I hate needles, yet I always have to watch what is going on. I see this looooooooooong ass skinny needle go into my leg, and my oh my the beginning of injecting the anesthesia hurt like a mother! Within moments I could no longer feel the needle or what was going on down on my little leg. I did however feel like I was going to pass-the-heck-out. I felt like i wanted to puke, pass out, and became very sweaty all in a matter of 45 seconds. My oh my, I also felt like I was on drugs and proceeded to tell the corpsman that. I couldn't see myself but i imagine i was a nice pale shade of white, probably similar to the wedding dresses I am going to try on this weekend. While the anesthesia made me feel like I was going to take an unplanned nap it also did its job and I didn't feel a thing! They pretty much used this little tool, like a very small apple corer and pulled that sucker out and then put a stitch in it so the skin would heal together nicely.

All in all, not too bad, but it might be a good idea to have my husband attend doctor's appointments since I have a history and tendency to pass out from needles and procedures similar to my latest and greatest.

Now, on to my current rant, my closet. My husband is driving me up the freakin wall with the clothes and bedroom. I admit that I am not nearly as clean as he is. Is the house a pig sty (is that the correct way to spell it?)? no. Do we have bugs? no. Does our house smell? no. Would someone come over and thing that we live like bums? God no. The bottom line is I am not as squared away as he seems to be....notice how i say seems....while I won't go into details on my opinion of him throwing stones when he lives in a glass house, I will, however, discuss the need for a bigger closet.

A bigger closet, I am sure EVERY girl wants/needs that, and the reality of it is, we cannot get a bigger closet unless we move out and move into a place that I would imagine that costs more to get a bigger closet because the fact of the matter is i have a closet that is the entire length of one of our bedroom walls! (world's longest sentence) And, it is only filled with my belongings, Scott has a completely different closet! I hate just throwing things into my closet, or anywhere. I also hate hanging my clothes when I have to jam them into a sardine can of a closet...ok, ok it isn't a sardine can, but if you saw my shoe collection, my purse collection, my hoodie collection and the whole half of the closet that has all of my business suits hanging, you too would thing it is a sardine can!

tomorrow I will take before pictures, buy the goods and post the progress...

what are you ranting and raving about this week?

Sunday, September 20, 2009

i've got soul, but i'm not a soldier...

but my husband is...ok, he is a sailor, but ya know what i mean...

this past Friday, (9/18) Scott re-enlisted in the Navy for 6 more years. In October he will have 7 years under his belt. Dang, I don't think I have committed to anything for that long.

The ceremony wasn't anything big, but it was awesome nonetheless. My mom was able to come up from San Diego (by way of Guam!). Her and my dad gave Scott a bible as gift. My dad has a tradition of taking his oath with his hand on the Bible and then having the re-enlisting officer sign in the back next to the date. Scott has started and will continue this tradition. (he has been in for almost 7 years, but, this his first time actually re-enlisting!) In doing this it allowed me to be a part of the ceremony as well, as I was the one that held the Bible between him and the re-enlisting officer.


The officer that did the ceremony did an amazing job. He does not work directly with Scott and therefore does not know a lot of Scott's background. Scott never gave him any information, but when it came time to discuss Scott's Navy career this guy was on point! He knew almost every detail about Scott's Navy career: the day he enlisted, all the schooling he has done, all his commands, his deployments, his achievements etc. Hearing all of this made me so proud of him.

They also gave me an award for all of my support etc. It was pretty cool to be acknowledged for the sacrifices I make. Scott also got my mom and I roses, which was really sweet and totally unexpected. Afterwards we had a BBQ and cake and ice cream.

Later in the day the 3 of us went to walk around in downtown Ventura to have coffee at this cute cafe Scott and I love, called Palermo. We then walked around a few antique shops, which is where I found my vintage Fendi jacket for $15 (I bargained it down to 15 from 18!)


I finally have a picture from Scott's trip to Alaska to add to our wall of travel...

This picture is so breathtaking. We do not have scenery like this in the desert land of Southern California. Seeing that Alaska is not part of the continental United States I don't know that many people actually get to see how amazing the state truly is. Scott and I plan on at some point in the future to do an Alaskan Cruise.
I know I am a big city girl, but part of me wishes this was the view outside my back door...

Monday, September 14, 2009

Music, my connection to the holy spirit…

Most of you may not know, but music touches my soul, and is a huge part of my life. You can be sure that on any given day I hear a song that washes over me. It is often times just a small part of the song, but the lyrics I connect with hit me right in the heart. Funnily enough, I do not have a musical bone in my body…I can’t carry a tune in a bucket!

I know that my connection with the Holy Spirit is through music. Not just any music, but the more contemporary Christian music. For example, I feel connected to God when I am singing this song:

I Could Sing Of Your Love Forever
Over the mountains and the sea,
Your river runs with love for me,
and I will open up my heart and
let the Healer set me free.
I'm happy to be in the truth,
and I will daily lift my hands:
for I will always sing of when
Your love came down. [Yeah!]
I could sing of Your love forever,
I could sing of Your love forever,
I could sing of Your love forever,
I could sing of Your love forever.
Oh, I feel like dancing -
it's foolishness I know;
but, when the world has seen the light,
they will dance with joy,
like we're dancing now.

I realized many years ago that while I do pay attention to the sermon and always walk away with at least a small amount of knowledge to help my walk with the Lord strengthen, nothing compares to singing.

This became glaringly apparent once I started attending church at a church that Scott grew up going to. It is a very traditional Wisconsin Synod Lutheran Church, and when I say traditional in my heart I say “old school”. We sing out of a hymnal that has hymns written in the 1800’s (I was sure to check at the bottom of the pages, and that seems to be the time frame) the only musical instrument played is the organ, and only about 15% of the entire congregation sings!

I’ve tried to figure out how to express my thoughts about this without sounding rude but that doesn’t seem possible. Please understand I mean no disrespect, but this is something that has been weighing on my heart for some time. I don’t know why but I am completely turned off by the sound of the organ, it sounds stuffy and pretentious to me. I love the piano, the guitar, the violin (my favorite when combined with a more upbeat song) anything but the organ!

This is an issue that I have been working through for about 5 months; Scott and I have ignored, argued, and finally discussed the issue. Did we come to a conclusion, well, yes and no. We decided that the pastor at this church is good for us, and he is going to do our wedding ceremony next year. So, for our time in California, or at least until our wedding we will continue at this church. I have also expressed my concern that when we have children I want them to attend a church that is not focused on traditions and does not do things solely based on what has been done for the last 50 years. I want them to be exposed to and grow up in a church where the congregation is excited to worship the lord and is able to show this excitement through their singing. I am sure Scott and I will have many more discussions on this and I am sure I will also confide in my dad many more times for advice, but I know that the Lord will lead us to where we need to be. I just need to have faith and be patient.

This might be one of the few issues that Scott and I will struggle with…sigh

Saturday, September 12, 2009

baking soothes the soul...

Wow, say that 5 times fast…

Yesterday I spent most of the afternoon baking, and it felt damn good! All the stresses and worries I carry around on an every day basis were gone. I think they might have left my body during the 10 minutes of kneading the bread dough. By the by, the bread is delish, Scott loves it too!

Looking back I have been baking since I was a kid. I recall cooking with all of my grandmas (I am a lucky girl and I have 3!). With my nanny (No, I did not grow up having an at home take care of me nanny, we just call my grandma on my dad’s side nanny) I remember making banana bread. With my grandma Mattson I remember cooking and baking. I remember being about 14 and watching the food network all the time, way before any of my friends were into “the cooking channel”, there was one time that I wanted to make meringue, not for a pie or any type of dessert, I was just fascinated by the way you could take eggs and make them fluffy. I used a glass bowl and a very old black and decker hand mixer, the meringue never came to be as the bowl slipped and broke all over the kitchen floor, hey I didn’t say I was good!!

For many years every Christmas we made spritz cookies, you know the ones I am talking about, where you make the dough and put it in this tube, choose your shape, and then squeeze them out. The Christmas tree, the star, the wreath...oh how i LOVED those cookies. I enjoy cooking dinner, breakfast etc, but what I find spiritual is baking. I feel connected to what I am doing; I am so focused I cannot think about anything else. It is an art, but even if the aesthetics of it isn’t appealing if it takes good then you have succeeded. I am able to lose myself in the process. While making the bread I forgot that I was supposed to go pick up my alterations, or that Scott was going to be working late for a Friday, I was totally and completely consumed in making bread.

Here is what allowed me to lose myself felt good...

this picture says it all...

“We honour those who volunteer to keep us safe and extend the reach of freedom — including members of the armed forces, law enforcement officers, and intelligence and homeland security professionals,” the statement said. “Their courage, service, and sacrifice is a fitting tribute to all those who gave their lives on Sept. 11, 2001. On this day, let us renew our determination to prevent evil from returning to our shores.” Former President, George W. Bush

Thursday, September 10, 2009

thirsty thursday: your publicly elected officials wieners

as i read more blogs i become more inspired...

it is amazing how many people out there think, breath and feel the same way you do about things. On days when you are feeling not so hot, and more down in the dumps than high society it is nice to know others feel the same way sometimes!

I was having one of those days yesterday, various things were consuming my head and it just got to be too much...but today is far better...

here are some things I am thirsting for:

  • It is a fairy tale, but in a perfect world I could go back to school and have kids at the same time, all while my husband is able to financially support us with his massive income. What is that you say? You've popped my fantasy bubble? No, no, I popped my own fantasy bubble. A girl can wish, can't she? But in all seriousness both of the aforementioned items are things that I really really want to do, and of course the one that I get to choose is going back to school, having a baby must wait!

  • Is it too much to ask to have a publicly elected official keep his legs crossed, his wiener zipped up, and only allow it to be aroused by his wife's whowho? It baffles my mind that I should even need to pose such a question. But, then again, we as a society have lost all respect not only for ourselves but for others as well. Last night our pastor made a very important point during our marriage session, when we got married we lost ourselves. I am no longer focusing on myself, but how I can help my husband, and vice versa. A senator, or any other publicly elected official is not exempt from this part of marriage. While on the beach the other weekend I read an amazing article in the 1 inch thick, September issue of Vogue. It was an article about Jenny Sanford, wife of yet again another conservative Republican politician getting caught in a extramarital affair (South Carolina governor, Mark Stanford). Reading about this woman was inspiring, she is so down to earth and has a strong foundation and knows how to forgive. She is ready to forgive and move on, because really what else can you do? Life is no fun it you are bitter and can't forgive. By forgiving she is able to move on, whether it be with or with Mr. Stanford.

"The question is why some men--specifically, male politicians--don't seem to understand how extramarital affairs poison both careers and families?"

Any ideas?

tune in next Thursday for more on what i am thirsty for...

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

i left my heart in San Francisco

Scott and I finally took a Vacation by ourselves! Every trip we have been on has either been with friends or family. I guess this could also be considered a little "honeymoon".

The trip was amazing, a few funny snafu's (did you know SNAFU is an acronym for Situation Normal: All Fucked Up?!), but they just added to the memories...more on those later...

We left on Friday at a very decent hour and got into the city at about 9 pm, a little over 5 hours of driving, not bad! This allowed for time to go out and walk about the city for a bit and go get drinks, after changing of course! I swear, getting in and being able to go out for a few hours made the trip seem even longer than a 3 day weekend.

Saturday we got up early and headed to the Starbucks just steps out the door of our hotel. I am pretty sure that every hotel has a Starbucks within half a block of it. Walked around a much more quiet city than the night before. I love just walking down the streets and taking it all in. A quick shower back at the hotel and we were out for the day...and so begins the long journey of our Saturday!

A big part in getting up early was to be able to walk down to fisherman's wharf and go on a bike ride to the Golden Gate Bridge, ride over, and then bike into the city of Sausalito. Important to note: the company we did this through is Blazing Saddles. We get down to Pier 39 at F.W. at about 10 am and start to fill out the paperwork to rent these bikes. Scott is totally pumped about this, and me, well, I am definitely able to control my enthusiasm. It comes time to give a "deposit". Apparently they have to run an authorization of $500 just to ensure we bring the bikes back. Of course they cannot use our Navy federal debit check card...and of course Scott's credit card, the ONLY one we brought on the trip is sitting on the dresser of our hotel room!

I swear, he doesn't take it with us when we go any where because he is afraid that I might some how sneak into his back pocket, pull out the card and magically sneak into a Louis Vuitton store and have some fun.

This means we have to go all they way back to our hotel room, which is not a quick walk, and because it is a holiday weekend all the buses are so packed that getting on one is almost more annoying than actually walking. After mumbling a few colorful words under my breath and walking to the BART station we get back to our hotel much more quickly than we got to the Wharf. With CC in hand we head back down to rent these bikes, fun!

We get the bikes, I insist we get helmets (I swear I am turning into a worry wort), and we head out...except that we have no idea where we are going...this so called bike path is not very recognizable...once we find it, it is all up hill and half of it takes you on a detour and you ride in the streets with the cars!!! We finally get to some flat land on a clear bike path and hit the Golden Gate Bridge.

The city itself is having gorgeous weather, but the bridge has a huge section of fog over it and is about 20 degrees cooler. We bike on the west side of be bridge. I am not sure what was scarier, riding against the bridge traffic with a fence between us, OR riding next to all the crazy cyclists that are about 2 feet to your left going in the opposite direction of you at about the same speed as the traffic that is on your right!

We make it across the bridge and spend a few minutes looking for the continued bike path, but it does not exist. We are riding along next to the cars going down a 2 lane windy, down hill road! Have you met me before?! Because if you have you know 1. i have no coordination 2. i lack depth perception and 3. i fall A LOT just walking...needless to say I am scared out of my gourd!

As we get into the windy road that contains traffic as well as houses and driveways the ultimate SNAFU happens, Scott gets a flat tire!!! We walk our bikes to the ferry, lock it up, get lunch, and wait for an hour and a half for the ferry to arrive. Once we finally got on the ferry all we wanted to do was get rid of those bicycles!

The rest of the trip had no SNAFU's...Saturday night we had my FAVORITE pizza, Blondies...Sunday Scott was like a kid on Christmas day as we were going to Alcatraz. This kid watches every documentary on criminals. It was very cool to be on the 22 acre island that used to house the U.S.'s worst criminals. After we took the ferry back to SF we had clam chowder in a sourdough bread bowl at Boudin's,, so good! Later, yet again more Blondies pizza...I had to get my fill of my favorite pizza!

Minus the bicycle adventure, which we laugh about every time we think about it. Now, whenever scott has an idea that I think is not so great I just have to tell him he is "pulling a blazing saddles". The trip was amazing, I had so much fun spending time with my best friend in my favorite city!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Writer's Block

I have a serious case of writer's block. I have been trying , for weeks mind you, to start writing my personal statements for the graduate programs I am applying to, and the creative juices are dry, as in the Sahara Desert dry. In college I loved to write, albeit I would tend to write my papers the week they were do but that was because I had TOO MANY ideas and needed to sort through them. Now I can't even get a single idea to make its way into my head.

What happened to the me in college?

The me that felt so intelligent and was doing so many things in one day I often forgot to sleep more than 5 hours a night?

The working world is what happened to me. A world where I was told that I shouldn't think because I couldn't possibly know what I was talking about because I was under 40! I was never expected to do more than be an assistant and make spreadsheets. No one ever tested my intellectual boundaries and pushed me to or beyond my limit. I swear I am beginning to forget how to spell!

When ever I sit down to write anything that has to show an ounce of intelligence I go blank. Words used to come to me so well. Some of my friends and colleagues have an amazing ability to write creatively, while I do not possess such writing capabilities I did, at one time, have the ability to put together a very well thought out paper or essay. Even as I try to sit and write this blog it is hard to find the words to describe what I want to say.


Here is what I have to write about:


1. Write an autobiographical essay describing how your life history has contributed to the development of the person you are today and to your decision to pursue graduate education and training in clinical psychology...Limit your response to five, double spaced pages

So of course one would think this should be easy because, duh, it is an essay about moi! But then the last line of limiting my response to 5 pages is what gets me. Of course this should be detailed, but 5 pages, that means I need to dig deep. If I am digging deep the words have to be just right, and since the words aren't even flowing, Houston, we have a problem.

2. Imagine that you are working with a family that is considering divorce. The parents are concerned about the impact on their two children, a boy who is 5 and a girl who is 9. The couple wants to discuss whether it would be better for the children if they remained in the marriage until the children are grown, or whether an immediate divorce would be less problematic for the children. How would you address the family's question? We are not interested in how you would treat this family, but rather your critical analysis of the situation and the issues you would consider. Be sure to articulate your position and substantiate your point of view. Please do not exceed 1,000 words in your essay.

Kindly refer to my 4th paragraph and you will see where the issue is, THEY WANT ME TO THINK! Egads...I am not sure if I remember how to do that. Plus, I read this situation and immediately the answer pops into my head, like a light bulb going off. So, I think to myself, "self, is the answer that easy and because you can formulate that answer so quickly you are meant to be helping people in these types of situations, or is the pure fact that you immediately thought of an answer mean that you aren't looking at both sides and therefore you will fail?!!"

3. Briefly discuss your professional goals and what you would like to learn in an MA Psychology program.

Again, they want me to think. There is hope, the fact that they used the word brief means that I should be able to answer this question in a much easier manner, once the writer's block goes away.


1. Please include no more than two typewritten pages covering significant influences and events which have developed you present values and approach to life. Include ways in which these factors may contribute to preparation of a psychology profession. Also include your personal interests and goals, and your professional objectives.

This all sounds very similar to college number one, so this should be a breeze, right? WRONG! One school wants me to give very detailed accounts, while the other wants me to sum it all up in 2 pages! Herein lies the problem, do I write the abbreviated version first and then try and expand upon it to write the longer version? Or, do I write the expanded version and then try and take key parts from it to write the condensed version? Gonads and strife.


this one is intense, and the scariest of them all in my eyes:

The Goals Statement is an important part of the Phillips' application process. You are required to submit a three-to-seven-page, double-spaced, typed essay. The statement should address both (A) and (B) as delineated below:

A. Choose one of Phillips Graduate Institute's six core values with which you most identify. These values shape Phillips' character and culture: (they all give a brief definition but I am not going to spend the time typing them out)

1. The Challenge to Grow and Develop
2. Collaborative Involvement
3. Integrity
4. Creativity
5. Appreciation for Diversity
6. Contribution to Positive Social Change

Describe which of the values you feel best defines you or means the most to you. Share with us an experience in which you displayed (or did not measure up to) this value and tell us what you learned about yourself.

These people want me to write 3-7 pages about myself in relation to one of their core values yet I can't even figure out how to write an autobiographical essay about my life! Not one of those six values sticks out to me in the sense that I could really write a compelling paper. Maybe I am not cut out for this like I had originally thought for the last few years.

B. Current personal, intellectual, professional interests

Describe your current personal, intellectual, professional interests and activities, giving particular attention to the nature of your work, studies and current reading, areas of special interest, and career plans. Indicate your reasons for seeking a degree from Phillips Graduate Institute. Include the following information:

The nature of your life now and how the master's level study will be integrated into it. Why you want to obtain a master's in this particular area of study, and why you want to obtain this specific level of degree. How you came to know about and why you choose Phillips Graduate Institute.

Wow, I think the only thing they don't want is a blood and urine sample. Ok, Ok, I know that these schools aren't going to take in just anyone off the streets and educate them, but I am paying them cold hard cash in exchange for their knowledge. Reading their goals statement requirements just overwhelms me. I have forgotten how to take something so challenging and look at it as something fun. Yes, I said fun. I loved college, because in a way it was fun. Not fun like having a bbq at the beach and downing a few beers with your homies fun, but fun in the sense that you were going to accomplish a task, that at times, you felt you might fail at. A high of sorts.

So friends, you see my dilemma. This girl, who used to have a plethora of ideas flowing into her blond-haired head cannot seem to find an ounce of passion to begin writing some very important papers, V.I.P.s if you will. These V.I.P.s are what will open the door to the next chapter of her higher education as well as her professional career. The pressure is on, you only get one chance to make a good first impression.

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