Thursday, May 17, 2012

finding my purpose {the beginning}

Last night I had my friend Liz over for dinner. On Tuesday night I drove down to LAX to pick her up from her week long trip to Spain {I am uber jealous!}. We hadn't seen each other in a week and had very minimal communication. I felt very weird all week to not communicating with her. I send her random texts that usually revolve around food and wishing that fro yo and cupcakes could be delivered. ok, ok, I'm getting off topic, back to Liz being over for dinner.

We enjoyed a glass of wine, a margarita pizza and a yummy salad while we chatted. Lots of big things are going on in our lives, sharing and talking with each other is like free therapy. I feed off of other peoples positive energy and outlook. I shared with Liz some of the things that are growing in my heart.

I told her I just don't feel like my purpose in life is to work 40-50 hours a week at a normal office job. My heart is not there. I paused while trying to find the right word to describe what I wanted to do. A philanthropist I blurted out..."without the millions of dollars" liz quickly chimed in, ha! very true. A philanthropist on a budget {aka, minus the millions of dollars}.  We had quite the giggle fest over this. But in all reality I feel like my purpose is to give back. To take the amazing blessings that the Lord has given Scott and I and use it to help and encourage others.
There are so many things that make my heart hurt. I struggle when I see a person on the street that looks lost, homeless, and not quite "there". I wonder if they had a rough life and if they have any friends or family. I wonder if they have someone to love them. That really hurts  my heart; when I think about someone living on this earth and not having love. I feel the same way when I see a lost puppy. I want to bring them home with me and give them a snuggly bed, a bowl of food, a bath and a big ol'belly rub.

My heart aches when I think about little babies being born into this world and needing a mama to love them. I want to take all of those babies and give them a home. A place to feel loved, nurtured and a place where they feel safe. Recently I have really felt the Lord working overtime in my heart. My heart aches to start a family. To have a baby in our home to love and snuggle on. Scott and I have always talked about adoption. But now it seems to be more of a reality and a calling the Lord is leading us to. When I think about how much my heart aches and hurts to be a mama I imagine that is the same pain many children have in their heart, to have a mama to love them.

The Lord is blessing us in so many ways I never imagined. Scott and I are being called to make sure we use each and every blessing to bless others. I don't know exactly how we will do this but I do know that as long as I keep my heart open the Lord will be sure to show us.

Elf House Chronicles
{linking up with the sweet manda jane}


Manda Jane said...

thank you for linking up!! I love this post. I think it's amazing the way God works in our life and lays things on our heart - the paths he takes us down. And sometimes we don't always understand at the time, but in time - HIS time - it always makes sense. And so few of us take the time to count our blessings and then realize we are in a place to share with others. So, very proud of you for trying to figure out what He has intended for you. You always have my support and encouragment!

Sadie Dear said...

Right? I mean, I believe that every gift we receive from God is intended to show the world how big His love is. Whatever gifts we receive are for His glory. What better way to share it?

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