Thursday, October 17, 2013

a reminder to be the light and other #infertility ramblings

oh goodness me, I clearly failed at blogging for #31 days.  

but we'll just continue where we left off, sound good? GREAT! 

last night I spend a few minutes talking with a friend about infertility. the struggle, the pain, the facebook announcments, telling the in-laws, dealing with fertile mertiles, the whole 9 yards. 

she shared with me how good it was for her to read my story, for her to know she wasn't alone. 

it was a great reminder to me why God wants me to share my story. i truly believe God gives us struggles so we can be a voice, so we can be the light.  

i know i am at a place in my fertility walk that i never thought i would be at 2 years ago. 

i am at peace. 

 a starbucks treat selfie

i have accepted i might never be pregnant, but that doesn't mean i won't be a mom. my path to mommyhood might be different than most and i think God might using me to share that journey. 

while i have accepted the possibility of never giving birth i still get sad sometimes. i get sad that i might never have that first look at a baby boy or girl and see Scott's gorgeous piercing blue eyes.  i might never hold 7lbs of beauty that is a mix of scott and i. that part is hard to swallow. 

that feeling of sadness sometimes washes over me at the most unexpected time.  a reminder that the infertility journey has so many sides, sides you never expected to see or deal with. 

but each day i'll push on. i'll work to understand and accept God's plan.

2 comments:

Wonderland & Co. said...

I believe that when I needed to hear it most, God has placed you and several other bloggers in my life - sharing their stories at the exact same time. To help me get thru the darkest days I've had since learning we have fertility issues. We are going to our first adoption interest meeting in November and I'm thrilled. I truly feel adoption is being placed on our heart by God and we are going to see what it takes!

blm said...

So glad you're back and blogging about infertility. I am going through a bunch of testing now and it is such an emotional roller coaster. It's reassuring to know that other women are getting through it.

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