As time goes by and our little family stays the same size I often worry that I will become too involved in my own daily life. Does that make since?
I worry that I will get too into my job and won't be a good mom. That I will be too focused on wanted to be a successful business woman and I won't want to slow down and enjoy mama moments.
scarf: forever21 // top, skinnies & flats: Target // bag: Francesca's
I then fear that once I am a mama I won't want to work at all. Ok, really that is not true. I know that I need to have something for myself, I like to be busy and involved. I like to have something I can call mine and be proud of. Something that doesn't relate to my husband's career as a naval officer but is instead my own. So maybe that fear is more how will I balance it all. How will I make it work?
These fears give me doubts about being a mother. These fears make me question if I am supposed to be a mom. How does one balance it all? I see that as a common every day burning questions asked every day by moms around the world. In a world where we think and expect to do it all the idea of living this life and adding a baby to the mix seems scary.
I struggle with being successful in my career. It is a mix of the horrible comparison game and my crazy over the top standards I have for myself. I don't know what the future will look like. I have no idea the path my career with go when we have kids. I have no idea when we will have kids, so all these unknowns have my anxiety and fear wheels spinning like crazy.
Each day is a chance to start over and remind myself that in God's time it will all happen and the self-induced stress over the unknown is a waste of time. Every day I get the chance to start over and a better attitude than the day before.