Monday, January 6, 2014

Let's Talk Marriage

The day after Christmas Scott and I headed northwest a bit and spent a few days at different Bed & Breakfasts for a little pre-deployment getaway. We had originally planned to take a week long tropical vacation but life and the military had other plans for us.  After I got done being annoyed we planned a romantic getaway in Virginia wine country.  Thanks to our friends Rik and Liz we had lots of pampering and wine at our first B&B.  

Spending the time away from our every day routine and turning our phones off was just what we needed after a 4 week underway period and with our 2014 deployment date quickly approaching.  

I've also shared on the blog and on instagram {peeps, i lurve IG, let's be freinds, kay??} that I'm going to work on monthly goals and January is to work on my marriage.  

Marriage is hard yo. 

I never imagined it would be easy, but sometimes things are harder than they should be. Not for any other reason but because we are both trying to make everything work, our jobs, our marriage, our friends, our home.  It can all be a bit overwhelming.  Plus the whole infertility issue adds another layer of stress too.

I am envious of couples when I hear they don't fight and yelling never happens.  We sometimes yell and fight.  Sometimes we go long stretches where things are good, but sometimes it feels like we are off and even putting the dishes away can lead to a moment of yuck.  

Sometimes the demands of military life can wear on me.  I get frustrated that life can be so unpredictable.  I get frustrated that there is not a lot of flexibility and at certain times I have no choice about taking care of things.  Friday was a busy day. I was back to work, I had to deal with the guy taking care of the raccoons we have on our roof, the plumber came to look at that water heater, our house was being cleaned and I had a doctors appointment in the middle of all of it.  I spent the afternoon on work calls and before I knew it Scott was walking in the door.  I had not yet done all that I had planned and didn't have time to have my transition time from work to home.  This time is super important since I work from home.  

I have a hard time doing both my job and my marriage well.  It can be a struggle. I get in the zone for work and then trying to shift to being a wife is hard.  I know the same happens for my husband, he has to be on his A-game for work and sometimes after many long days it is hard to shift back to being home and being a husband.  

I think sometimes by my pictures it can seem like life is always perfect, but very often that is so not the truth.  I try to find a good balance of sharing the good and bad to both encourage others but to also be real with myself.  

Below are some outfit pics from our quick 2 day stay in Charlottesville, VA. 

 headband/turban: virtue lovely market vendor in CA // scarf: petunia blooms // black lace sweatshirt: Loft // 
plaid button up: Target // mint t-shirt: The Printed Palette // jacket: H&M // jeans: J Crew // 
Uggs: consignment store // bag: Dooney and Burke 


Jillian Alexander said...

i don't believe it when couples say they never fight. the "perfect" marriage doesn't exist, every couple has to work at it. I love this post because i can relate to so much of it. love ya!

Lawyer Mama said...

Life may not be perfect, but your outfits always are!

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